For Ward Conference the Bishop asked me if I would play my violin with the ward choir. I am always delighted to play at church, so I've been practicing my violin again, and I even trimmed my fingernails.
Tomorrow is the big day and I thought it would be wise to practice in my new dress, just to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself. You never can tell if what you are wearing will stay put when you lift your arms and wave them around, with the violin in one hand and the bow in the other. It would be so embarrassing to have any odd gaps or pulls while playing.
So I put on my new cute, cute, cute dress, and my brown heels, and tuned up my violin.
We don't have a full length mirror, so I pulled a chair from the table into our bedroom where we have a big mirror over the counter. I climbed up on my chair, lifted my violin, and - - - -
Oh! Holy Double Chin!
Where did that come from?!?
I tried readjusting my violin to give a more attractive neck view - moving the violin back on my shoulder, or out toward my arm. But short of holding the violin at my armpit - nothing worked! Even a black turtleneck sweater wouldn't hide that extra skin.
Then I started playing my song - hoping the double chin would be hidden by my enchanting music. Instead, I noticed the skin of my underarm flapping happily with each pull of the bow. (sob, sob, sniff, sob, sob, sob)
How blissfully unaware I was before tonight, imagining how smashing I would look while serenading the congregation.
I made the mistake of asking Hannah to come help me. I knew I could count on her honesty. She laughed at me. Then she tried to tuck in my double chin for me. It didn't work. And when I started playing she burst out laughing at my flappy under-arm. She observed me from all angles and mentioned that you could even see it flapping from the back. Great. Then she stepped back a few feet and told me no one would ever notice. Liar!
One a happy note: the cute dress did not pull or tug in any embarrassing ways.