Saturday, September 16, 2006

Holy Double Chin

For Ward Conference the Bishop asked me if I would play my violin with the ward choir. I am always delighted to play at church, so I've been practicing my violin again, and I even trimmed my fingernails.

Tomorrow is the big day and I thought it would be wise to practice in my new dress, just to make sure I wouldn't make a fool of myself. You never can tell if what you are wearing will stay put when you lift your arms and wave them around, with the violin in one hand and the bow in the other. It would be so embarrassing to have any odd gaps or pulls while playing.

So I put on my new cute, cute, cute dress, and my brown heels, and tuned up my violin.

We don't have a full length mirror, so I pulled a chair from the table into our bedroom where we have a big mirror over the counter. I climbed up on my chair, lifted my violin, and - - - -

Oh! Holy Double Chin!


Where did that come from?!?

I tried readjusting my violin to give a more attractive neck view - moving the violin back on my shoulder, or out toward my arm. But short of holding the violin at my armpit - nothing worked! Even a black turtleneck sweater wouldn't hide that extra skin.

Then I started playing my song - hoping the double chin would be hidden by my enchanting music. Instead, I noticed the skin of my underarm flapping happily with each pull of the bow. (sob, sob, sniff, sob, sob, sob)

How blissfully unaware I was before tonight, imagining how smashing I would look while serenading the congregation.

I made the mistake of asking Hannah to come help me. I knew I could count on her honesty. She laughed at me. Then she tried to tuck in my double chin for me. It didn't work. And when I started playing she burst out laughing at my flappy under-arm. She observed me from all angles and mentioned that you could even see it flapping from the back. Great. Then she stepped back a few feet and told me no one would ever notice. Liar!

One a happy note: the cute dress did not pull or tug in any embarrassing ways.


Donna Boucher said...

I'll bet you look darling in that brown dress!!!

Sorry about the chin. :o(

No one will notice. Really!

Mary said...

That IS a cute cute dress! You totally cracked me up - you and Hannah are so funny. I hate to think what else would be flapping around if I were to play my violin right now while still in my very post-partum softness.

No more playing in front of a mirror. At least you don't move your mouth strangely when you play - There was a boy in my group lessons in Modesto who would look like he was mouthing words or chewing on something gross while he sawed away at the violin! And then there was the one Ludlow boy who jerked and jolted around with his eyes closed when he played violin and the teacher would scold him and tell him to keep still. See, don't stories of 10-year-olds looking strange while playing violin make you feel better?

Anonymous said...

The dress is so cute. You are way too skinny for anyone to notice anything flapping around. And just think you could sound a whole lot worse, remember the Berg girls singing in HR? Anna

Anonymous said...

I love love the dress! I think being up by the pulpit, people will be looking up, not at you. Plus with all your skinnyness you don't have any extra skin.

Mary, I still remember walking in on you practicing the violin in your underwear, with tears streaming down your face. I think you'd stayed home sick from school, but couldn't miss your lesson. I'd love to recreate that as a statue. One of my favorite memories!

texasblu said...

funny.. we've been talking double cihns in our family too... my husband shaved his beard after having it for 6 yrs! He looks VERY diferent. *grin*

I'm sure though that although YOU were concious of it, everyone was too busy looking at your hands... that's where I always look when someone is playing an instrument - or at least their face. Heaven forbid I should judge anyone up there... yeah - right. :)

Mary said...

Haha Anna, I had forgotten about those Berg girls singing!! Perhaps I repressed that memory :)

Hope it went well Wend-a-roo

wendy said...

I pretty much messed up the whole thing, but I looked marvelous, and that's what matters. Right?

Amanda said...

Hi Wendy!! Thanks for visiting my blog! You want to be like me?? hahaha No, I want to be like you!

I am sure no one noticed your chin because they were looking at your cute dress! I think it is adorable.