Friday, September 29, 2006


I heard from Nathan that I have some anonymous readers out there who are laughing at me and not even commenting here. And it makes me wonder how careful I have been in my writing. Did I say anything mean, say, about my Sister in Law? or about those crazy neighbor kids?

When I write this blog I write to the 3 people who I know read it - my mom, my sisters (they only count as one person, sorry girls), and my dad. Knowing that my mom reads this to my dad sometimes helps to keep me in line. I forget that other people might read it, too.

So I am going to be a little more careful and not complain about my neighbor who always borrows stuff like cinnamon - oh wait, that was me. And I promise not to make fun of my brother-in-law's habit of mowing the lawn in just his tiny little Army shorts -

Wait, that's a good story, and I can't think of a darn thing to write about, so I'll tell you about the shorts. Sorry Terry!

First I should mention that I need counseling. Seriously. I have 7 sister and no brothers. I got married right out of high school and haven't dated a boy since I was 17 years old. I've never had a real job with a real boy as a boss or co-worker. I am such a baby. I don't even really know how to talk to guys. I get easily embarrassed around guys - especially if they have their shirts off. Which seems to happen to me all the time - just kidding - I can only think of a couple embarrassing shirtless-man stories to tell.

So, back to the shorts. - I wonder if he still has those shorts? - Anywho, when we were first married we lived in the same town as Nathan's brother, Terry, and his family. They have a fun family, and at that time their 5 kids were ranging in age from about 10 years old down to a baby. We spent a lot of time over there.

I would often stop by their house on my way to Walmart to just hang out. Like I mentioned before I didn't really have a real job, so I had lots of time to kill.

One day as I pulled up to the curb in our '77 Toyota Corolla, Nathan's brother was out mowing the lawn in just his little green Army shorts. Oh the horror! How embarrasssing! I remember being in a bit of a panic, trying to figure out how to get out of there, quick!, without anyone noticing (could I just zoom away in the Corolla, hidden within the smoke-screen?)

But it was too late, the image was already burned in my eyeballs. So I looked away, unbuckled Hannah, and ran as fast as I could, past Terry and the lawn mower, into the house to visit with my sister-in-law, Lori. That may have scarred me for life! Sorry Terry.

I still have an aversion to half naked men. This summer we went waterskiing with our very cool Bishop and his family. Maybe he knew I was shy about that, because he kept his shirt on almost the whole time. But one time our other neighbors came waterskiing too, and I had to be careful to avert my eyes so as not to get an eye full of white, er, uh, I mean, strong manly chest.

Do other people get this embarrassed? This is normal, right? I am not crazy.

Ok, maybe I need help. So,to cure myself of this little problem, I think I am going to have to put myself on a strict beach-watching regimen in Hawaii!


Laurie said...

Wahaaa! Hillarious post! Once we had a portly neighbor who regularly mowed his lawn wearing a small pair of shorts, his big belly hanging over his waist. I found this to be soooo embarassing.

Mary said...

How funny! My favorite line is
"could I just zoom away in the Corolla, hidden within the smoke-screen?" Was that the brown turd car?

I'm a bit shy about half-neked men too. Randy plays volleyball every week wtih a bunch of guys. Some from church, some from work. During the summer, they ALL had their shirts off. We would go play at the park next to the sand court and it was so embarrassing to see those guys sans tops. I couldn't look toward any of them. I asked Randy to please keep his shirt on if there were any of the other wives around. Yucka.

P.S. Who is laughing at you? Is it in a mean way? I love your blog!

Mary said...

I should say, I asked him to keep his shirt on not because I didn't want the other girls to see, but because seeing their topless husbands made me a bit queezy :)

Anonymous said...

Holy crop mon, that is hilarious. You are too much Mrs Wendy. And Maybe I can take Sam. Are you really getting rid of him?

Donna Boucher said...

Count me as one of your faithful readers :o)

I feel a little inept around boys too. I had five sisters and one very absent brother.

The Weird Neighbors!!! said...

Yes, Yes, Yes,
We admit it, we read your blog!
You are going to miss our crazy kids and our cinnamon. You'll have no one to make you Sunday dinner. We are going to miss you guys!

texasblu said...

LOL!!! You are right - it IS your blog and you can say anything you feel good about sharing. BUT.. it IS a reflection of you, so sometimes you have to be careful. Otherwise you have to do like me and delete the whole thing - which is incredibly sad.

I love your confession... I have 2 brothers, and my father raised them to be modest - always wore a T-shirt. So I'm not into half naked men either... I don't think you need therapy. I thikn we just need to have same standards - no half naked ladies, no halfnaked fellas. :)

Amanda said...

This is soooo funny! I just read it to Scott and he promises not to take his shirt off in front of you. lol

We are laughing at your blog only because you are so funny and it is so much fun. You aren't really moving are you? sniff sniff!

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I totally agree. If women walked around half naked, they'd be arrested. (right?)