Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Bit of a Funk!

And I'm feeling a little blah...which may be because I'm lonely. Or maybe it's because I've been up since 3:30am, or maybe this is why:

#1 - Tonight I went to a nice little program to thank me and all the other *RAV's for our hard work. **(Readiness Assistance Volunteers, AKA Key Spouse, or FRG for the Army, or Ombudsman? for the Navy - which probably means nothing to you. It's kind of like Visiting Teaching, for all you Mo's. Basically it's a way to support those whose spouses are deployed, through phone calls, etc)

As I sat there munching on shrimp and flan I started to feel a wee bit guilty for neglecting my ladies. I call them every couple of months, and email them monthly, but that's it. I thought I would be doing more, but I don't mind that I'm not. Is that bad?

Most of their husbands will be home soon, and so far I've had brunch with one. Discussed going to lunch with another (never did.) Accidentally called one girl to talk about the extended deployment, but it turned out her husband was already home (whoopso) Delivered deployment packets to three. Went to one candle party, and once got Nathan's advice on the best way to put a mouse in a sticky trap out of it's misery for one girl. I feel like I should bake brownies or deliver flowers or something. But then I remember that I won't actually do that.... Waaa.

#2 reason to feel blah - remember the preschool decision? I decided to go with the cheap and easy neighborhood swap, instead of the more rigorous Joy School program. I thought I could avoid an embarrassing confrontation and let the Joy School girls down easy by saying "Thank you for inviting me, but I'm just not going to be able to do that right now." I didn't want to give too many details, but somehow this has resulted in a couple of phone calls and emails asking me if I'm okay, and letting me know that I always have a shoulder to cry on during these difficult times. Uh, okay...

I have a feeling they are worried that I am having a pre-deployment breakdown (which may or may not be true - I'll let you know later.) Nathan says I should just go with it, but I hate for them to think that I'm that poor helpless deployed spouse, you know.

#3 reason to feel blah - I have a fun blog idea, but I need a picture of ME (who else?) to make it work. And I know just which picture I want, but I don't know what has happened to all our family photos for the year. They are not longer in the My Pictures/2007 file. Where can they be? Did Nathan burn them to a CD? or file them in another folder? or are they saved over in our new hard drive? or are they lost? I may not know until October... Bummer!

So that's what's bumming me out. Just silly blah blah blog stuff.... Anything got you down this week? And, what do you do to pick yourself back up?

I can't and/or don't really want to do anything about those 3 items, but here's what I can do instead:

1st, I'll make myself a microwave s'more (one graham cracker broken in half. One marshmallow. 10 chocolate chips. Microwave 11 seconds. Yum. I may have 2)

Next I'll head to bed and get some SLEEP.

Then I'll get up early and go running.

And do laundry.

And clean the house.

And treat myself to a Taco Bell Bean Burrito(no onions).

I'll feel much better, guaranteed!


In fact (brushing graham cracker crumbs off my pajamas) I'm feeling better already...


txmommy said...

it's always the silly stuff that gets me down, the big stuff I take in stride.
Or, the I'm letting someone down and not being the best________ that gets me down. I hate that but the truth is my inner slacker has a LOUD voice.

I HATE when I lose pictures, which I do all the time. Very annoying.

Hope the smore helped!

I didn't know you homeschooled. WHen and why and why did you quit....if you have time :) You can e-mail if you prefer (again if you have time) I have HUGE angst on the topic...what to do, why to do it, do it at all?, am I doing enough, arhg!

nikko said...

Hope that the s'more did it's trick. Last night it was a graham cracker and frosting that did it for me. :o)

Hopefully today will be less of a "blah" day and more of a good/productive/happy day!

I need to run like you. Maybe after the baby. When I used to (a couple of years ago I went every morning) it always felt so good.

Mary said...

Hey Wendy,

I can totally identify with your blah feelings as I get them from time to time for the same reasons. Usually my blahs are coupled with guilt too. Twinners!

But I have a picture for you that will be perfect. Follow this link and scroll down to the last picture of you. I know you'll just LOVE it!

Tori :) said...

I'm sorry you're feeling "blah." I think what you have done as a VT AF wife is great. It's more than some. It's more than I did as a VT. Does that make you feel better?
How did NAthan say to put the mouse out of it's misery? Drown it?
I'm glad the smore helped.

Deanne said...

I have my blah moments (days) too. Usually 'that time of the month' is the biggest contributor as it makes things bigger than they really should be, or I'm just more sensitive for whatever reason. I have to pray about it to get perspective. I know I can't allow my emotions to dictate my actions....but it's so pickin' hard! :)

I hope the s'more did the trick! A little tasty treat never fact, Ryan won't be home til really late tonight so I'm thinking of buying a tub of cookie dough and making some cookies. They should help me in the afternoon with the kids and also help me put them to bed, right??

Amanda said...

Sorry you are feeling down! Guilt is a big problem for me too. It is a vicious cycle and sometimes I just have to tell myself to snap out of it and stop being so hard on myself. Easier said than done sometimes.

A microwave smore sounds yummy! Chocolate always makes me feel better! :) Sleep it good.

If it makes you feel any better, I never thought of you as a poor helpless deployed spouse. I would probably be a basket case if it were me, but you always seemed to handle it so well. I know from my own experience though that what people see on the outside isn't always how you really feel. I don't think I'm making any sense. Sorry. I guess I'm just trying to say that I think you are awesome, and very strong!

Elizabeth-W said...

I'm with Deanne 100%--that hormonal shift just amplifies everything!
I also think that guilt can be a good thing if we use it right. Either we say, 'yes, I do need to do better' and do something different, or we can say 'no-actually I AM doing pretty well if I look at the facts, the big picture', or we can say 'yes, I could do better, but right now I'm choosing to do this other thing instead'.

Donna Boucher said...

I know you will feel better once you check some of those things off your list!
Sorry about the missing photo.


wendy said...

TX Mommy - we started homeschooling when Nathan came into the military, knowing that if Hannah was in school (she was a 1st grader at the time,) she would have changed school 4 times in 3 years. I loved it. She did really well, but when she was getting ready to head into 5th grade, I needed a change. She has done well in school, but there are a lot of times that I wish we had stayed's not off the table, and I'm considering it right now... I have some Saxon Math you can borrow.... ps - let me know if you have specific questions.

Nikko - graham crackers with frosting is currently on my "don't even think about it list" because I love them so much I will eat them until I pop!

Mary - Waahaahaa! Great picture...That might just do the trick!

Tori - drown. Yep. ew!

Deanne - cookie dough - good idea!

Amanda - you're sweet. And I think mostly I am just fine. By the way, he's not deployed right now, just away for some training.

elizabethW - guilt can be a good thing...

Hi Donna!

Suzanne said...

I'm sorry you've been feeling down this week, Wendy! It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life. I know that awful feeling of wanting to help others, but not knowing exactly what to do, then the time just kind of slips away...

I've had a hard time trying to get packed for our move this week. You'd think I'd be so excited to pack, but I'm so tired of moving that it's hard to be motivated. I've just given myself a little "me" time every night and it usually has included blogging and chocolate!

I'm definitely going to try your S'more idea! Yummy! :)

orchard_girl said...

Hey Wend-sorry your in a slump. Come visit, I could use some late night chatting and chocolate!

Butterfly Wife said...

Sorry you are having a blah time. Now you are making me wish I had graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate chips. I don't have any of these things in my house.