Sunday, April 29, 2007
Return to Sender
Dear Hot Fruita Mom,
Sorry I had your name misspelled on my side bar. I have a little spelling problem. The letters get tangled up sometimes. Here are some flowers, just for you!
Dear Next Door Neighbor,
I didn't realize you were outside when I told your kid that he's no longer allowed to play over here. I had assumed that if you were outside you would have heard your kid beating up my kids and would have said something to guide him toward civility and kindness. I'm sorry. My Mistake.
ps - when you smoke in your backyard, all that second hand stuff just comes right in my bedroom window. cough, cough.
Dear Friends and Family,
There is a bit of a time difference between here and there. That means at night I have to be careful to not call you after my dinner, because chances are you're already counting sheep. And if it's still AM over there, it's pretty darn early over here. Especially on a Saturday morning.
Love you lots,
Dear Needy Wife of a Deployed Soldier,
I realize this is a difficult time. I do. Really. But now may not be the right time for you to comfort your children by buying the gigantor playfort from Costco. Yes it fit inside my 'burb, but I don't ever want to drive that close to the steering wheel again, and I mean it. It was very nice of the two men left in our neighborhood to help unload that beast, but I would feel a little uncomfortable asking them assemble that bad boy, if I were you. Oh, I see, the Elder's Quorum is going to take care of that. Great.
Hugs and Kisses,
ps I think Nathan left his cordless drill in storage.
Dear Stat Counter,
We were friends since the day I set you up on my sidebar, two weeks ago. I love looking at your smooth graphs and clever data. I wonder how many of those 134 hits were actually just me, checking to see if there were any new comments.
Dear Ms. K,
3rd Grade homework doesn't need to be so dreadful. The reading response book seems like a friendly workbook, the cover is attractive, the stories are fun, the paper is not scratchy. We follow the directions closely, but you always shoot us down with your red pencil. Could you please try to be a bit more constructive and encouraging in your comments? Just a little? One smiley face? Maybe?
Dear Schofield Barracks Pool,
Brrrr. Swimming in South Dakota was warmer. Next time I'm wearin' my wetsuit. Or better yet, we'll just go to the beach.