Sunday, April 29, 2007

Return to Sender

Dear Hot Fruita Mom,
Sorry I had your name misspelled on my side bar. I have a little spelling problem. The letters get tangled up sometimes. Here are some flowers, just for you!

Your Friend,

Dear Next Door Neighbor,
I didn't realize you were outside when I told your kid that he's no longer allowed to play over here. I had assumed that if you were outside you would have heard your kid beating up my kids and would have said something to guide him toward civility and kindness. I'm sorry. My Mistake.


ps - when you smoke in your backyard, all that second hand stuff just comes right in my bedroom window. cough, cough.

Dear Friends and Family,
There is a bit of a time difference between here and there. That means at night I have to be careful to not call you after my dinner, because chances are you're already counting sheep. And if it's still AM over there, it's pretty darn early over here. Especially on a Saturday morning.

Love you lots,

Dear Needy Wife of a Deployed Soldier,
I realize this is a difficult time. I do. Really. But now may not be the right time for you to comfort your children by buying the gigantor playfort from Costco. Yes it fit inside my 'burb, but I don't ever want to drive that close to the steering wheel again, and I mean it. It was very nice of the two men left in our neighborhood to help unload that beast, but I would feel a little uncomfortable asking them assemble that bad boy, if I were you. Oh, I see, the Elder's Quorum is going to take care of that. Great.

Hugs and Kisses,

ps I think Nathan left his cordless drill in storage.

Dear Stat Counter,
We were friends since the day I set you up on my sidebar, two weeks ago. I love looking at your smooth graphs and clever data. I wonder how many of those 134 hits were actually just me, checking to see if there were any new comments.


Dear Ms. K,
3rd Grade homework doesn't need to be so dreadful. The reading response book seems like a friendly workbook, the cover is attractive, the stories are fun, the paper is not scratchy. We follow the directions closely, but you always shoot us down with your red pencil. Could you please try to be a bit more constructive and encouraging in your comments? Just a little? One smiley face? Maybe?

Mrs. B

Dear Schofield Barracks Pool,
Brrrr. Swimming in South Dakota was warmer. Next time I'm wearin' my wetsuit. Or better yet, we'll just go to the beach.



Amber said...

LOL! I can't believe you bought that playset. I am playset obsessed. Seriously. I even dream about getting one and my hubs finally broke down and said we could. The sad thing is the kids aren't nearly as excited about it as I am..... :-)

nikko said...

ROFL. I can't believe it was warmer in SD. That's funny.

I'm all about smiley faces from teachers.

Have a great week!

Elizabeth-W said...

Wendy that was sooo funny. Don't you just wish you really could send some of those letters? :)

MIllie said...

LOL, all of these were super cute. I love the way you captured Annie in an M&M. Bet she'll love that. :)

Amanda said...

Yes, I loved the annie M&M too. Very cute.

I know it's not the same, but I always laugh after we go to Daylight Savings Time (DST). Scott's family mostly lives in Arizona which doesn't have DST. They always call us late at night thinking that we are still the same time as them.

Deanne said...

You got a big ol' swing set huh? I'm sure the kids will love it, after it is all put together! I'm thinking a trampoline for our kids, but I'm not about to run out and buy one today. Who knows when.

wendy said...

Sorry to disappoint all y'all (and my kids,) but I did not get a swing set for me. I was persuaded to drive all the way to costco and pick up a swing set for a girl I know.

Though I am a little desparate and needy, that wasn't me, I was just writing her a friendly note, which I probably won't send.

I have one goal when my husband is deployed = ask for as little help as possible. So I might ask for help changing the lightbulb above the stairs - but buying a big wooden play-structure that I could neither transport nor assemble? Nope. No way.

Toni said...

Is someone PMSing?? I hear ya!

compulsive writer said...

Oh Wendy--I love it! I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to write letters such as those out loud.

Excellent post!

(I'm still laughing over the one to your neighbor.)

No Cool Story said...

LOLing and ROFL until I cried :)

Oh, I see, the Elder's Quorum is going to take care of that. Great., HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah that was awesome.

Dear Next Door Neighbor needs to get a reality check IMNTBHO.

Terina said...

i LOVED the neighbor, deployed soldiers wife and the friends and family one. i so feel you there. that was still nice of you to help her though. someday you'll have to hear my story about another deployed soldiers wife and how she mooched the life out of the ward..... and not that you don't already know it, but you should complain to the housing people if she smokes and the smoke goes into your room. or the MP's whatever is easier. i loved the post...

Kimberly said...

Oh thank you so much! That fit of giggles is going to last me all day!