It is December! And so we start our Christmas Countdown. and our deployment countdown.
We have a few weeks until Nathan heads to Iraq, and I've become a little weepy at odd moments. This is strange for me because (a)I think I'm generally a happy person - I like to smile at strangers and wave at people I pass on the street. When pregnant I get grouchy, not teary-eyed. Waaa! and (b) I don't remember being like this when he's deployed other times.
I probably shouldn't write about this, because I don't want my mom to worry and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, but this is like my journal and I'm keepin' it real!
I've found that it's not a good time to read WWII novels. or listen to sad songs. I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane is on my banned music list.
This wouldn't be so bad if I could cry in a grown up kind of one tear down my cheek kind of way. Instead my nose runs, my whole face turns red, and I get a little snorty. One good thing is that my eyes are at their most lovely green when I cry, if you can see them past my puffy eyelids and running mascara...
On Saturday at WalWart I saw a friend whose husband is leaving this week and I got all teary eyed. She seemed in great spirits. I'm sure she was wondering what's wrong with me.
The worst thing is that Aloha Oi song. Here in Hawaii there is a beautiful tradition at church of singing Aloha Oi' to families and individuals as a farewell just before they move away. They go to the front of the Chapel. We stand and sing, then line up to give them a lei and a hug. I love it, but it makes me a little choked up even on a good week. This Sunday we sang to several men who will be deployed soon and I was crying in a very unattractive runny nosed way.
Awe, shucks, I'm getting teary just thinking about it...
Earlier this year I read "Rilla of Ingleside" by L. M. Montgomery. It is about Anne's family during World War One. I was struck by the strength of the women and their ability to send the boys to war with a smile on their face and no tears.
I wish I could be like that, but I'm not sure if I can. I can already see our airport scene... I wonder if Nathan will mind if we just pull up to the curb and dump his big green bags onto the sidewalk...
I'm just telling this to you guys, cuz I know you can keep a secret. You are absolutely NOT allowed to say, "oooo, are you OKay?" or pat my shoulder, or tell me how much worse it was for you, or say anything mushy, got it? I'm going to be too busy to mope around, and if you say anything about my red eyes, I'll say I have allergies.