Sunday, February 03, 2008

For Me?

Dear Wendy,
When going to the beach, please leave your tankini at home. Body surfing + two piece swimsuit = danger. Your wobbly belly is private and should stay that way.

Yours,
Blinded at the Beach

ps - I've heard tan fat is better than white. Just a thought!



Dear Blinded -
You should be happy I was wearing Board shorts.

Yours,
w




Dear Wendy,
My neighbor smokes out on their lanai. Their lanai is connect to my lanai. The smoke fills my house and burns my eyes. It makes my room smell like a cheap hotel. Is there anything I can do?

Signed,
2nd Hand Smoker


Dear 2nd Hand,
2nd Hand Smoke kills, don't ya know. Here are just a few ideas for dealing with your rude neighbor - cough really loudly out your window at the first wiff of smoke; start leaving smoking cessession pamplets on their windshield and door knob; buy 3 more window air conditioners and bolt your windows closed; or hope they move soon....

Your friend,
w

ps - please let me know if you find something that actually works. cough, cough!




Dear Wendy,
Just a little tip - do not sing along to your ipod when running. You look ridiculous, and you do NOT sound good!

Your Friend,
Simon



Dear Simon,

Is it too late to try out for American Idol?

True Love Always,
w




Dear Wendy,
You are 6 months over due for your annual girly exam. Please make an appointment at your earliest convenience. But don't call this week because there are no more appointments available. You might want to try calling next friday as the women's health clinic releases dates one Friday a month, but I can't tell you which friday, and if you do guess the right friday and call after 8am, chances are you still won't get an appointment. Good Luck!

See you soon!
Your PCM



Dear PCM,

Ha!

Love,
w




Dear Wendy,
Do you really think 3 chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven is a wise snack at 11:30pm?

Your,
hips



Dear Hips,
Yes!

BFF,
w

14 comments:

trying said...

I love love love the letter from your PCM. I'm feeling that way about getting an apt with Dash-1's allergist these days.

nikko said...

I love it when you write your letters. :o) Sorry about the second hand smoke. Gah.

Mary said...

Dearest Wendy,

Your letters crack me up. I wish I could be as funny as you. Sorry about the smoking, we have had that same problem and we dealt with it by loudly shutting our windows while grumbling and coughing, but it never seemed to register to the smoker what we were doing.

Good luck!
Mary

Tori :) said...

I LOVED this post!!!!!!!!!!! My hips wrote me the same letter yesterday...

Amber said...

Good to know "Hips" are looking out for us. :-)

Cute post!

Mrs.Field's Cookies said...

Aw Wendy you are hilarious! Also i doubt with all that running that you have a wobbly tummy!

Deanne said...

The smoking neighbor sounds terrible! I wish I had some fabulous tips to make 2nd hand smoking life easier. In regards to the letter from your hips....can you 'return to sender' that piece of mail? No one likes hate mail! :)

A Soldier's Wife..... said...

Dear Wendy,

You are beautiful......and tell your inner voice to STHU!!!!!

Otherwise.....my inner voice letters remotely sound like yours....I tell them to shut up as well and go find someone else to bother, I hope it wasn't you.

luv ya girlie
~ASW

No Cool Story said...

"I've heard tan fat is better than white."

YAY!! Victory is mine, mwahahahaha!

No Cool Story said...

ITA with Nikko. I love it when you do a letter post.

Anonymous said...

Maybe this will help--the new recommendation is that you only need a girly exam every THREE years if you are low risk. So maybe you can put off that appointment for a while longer. :-)

Korrie in UT

JoyceMcB said...

Dear Wendy,
You are hilarious! Love you, mom

Mary Peterson said...

Wendy, I like your style! Keep posting!

Ann M. said...

These were great :) Thanks for posting this!