Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Neighborhood Woes

Neighbor #1 is pregnant. Neighbor #2 was going to have a babyshower for N1, but they are no longer friends. I sadly am involved in the fight, now. I told N1 that maybe after the baby comes we could get together with some of the ladies for lunch, instead of a babyshower. N2 feels that I have stepped on her toes and that if N1 doesn't want a shower from her, then she shouldn't have one at all. Whoopsie! I have done my best to apologize to N2. I think she is no longer mad at me. It is absolute sillyness. I wrote an entire novel about the whole saga, but it really comes down to a lot of immature behavior by some of us who should know better. Maybe Hannah has some advice for me, as this is exactly what she and her friends do all the time. Silly.


Mary said... messy! It is too bad your good intentions got you in a tight spot.

muse said...

How sad. Can't you just tell them that your friendships with both aren't related? Is there no way to make peace between them?

Donna Boucher said...

Dear Wendy,
May I tell you the only thing that works in this kind of situation...
And I know you are not to blame or the main problem...
If you go to each woman privately and simply say, "Will you forgive me for ___________? (list the thing you did wrong)
It does not have to be long or drawn out.
For instance, I would say to my husband, "Will you forgive me for being unkind and calling you a jerk?"
That's all.
Then you have done the right thing (esp. before God) and tried to restore the relationship.
They then have to make a decision on whether to forgive or not.
Saying I'm sorry does not require the other person to act. But when we ask for forgiveness we are showing that we are humbly seeking a solution.
If they say 'no'. Then they are at fault and you know you have done your best. If they say 'yes' then you can start to mend the realtionship.

I hope this is helpful...
If not, Will you forgive me for being too preachy? :o)