Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Is this my real life?

Nathan's deployment is winding down, but I'm not seeing an end to deployments any time soon. And it makes me a little sad and a little scared. In our neighborhood I see families preparing for the next deployment, though it seems like their husbands just got home from the last one. Wait, they did just get home in October.

During Nathan's first deployment I read every WWII book I could get my hands on. I felt a sort of kinship to those families who waited on the homefront with their victory gardens and blue star banners. But the deployment pattern in WWII is not the same pattern we have today. For them, it was one big bad deployment, and when (or if) their son or husband or brother came home, that was it. Mission completed. The end. Next up - Real life and happily ever after.

Today the deployment cycle seems to be never ending. Deploy. adjust. reunion. adjust. deploy....

Each time Nathan has deployed I have told myself that this is the only time he'll have to go. Or the last time. And while he's gone, I'm waiting. Waiting for him to call. Waiting for him to come home. Waiting.

I'm probably a little slow in realizing that this could go on for a long time. A really long time.

Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of my husband and the job he does to support and defend our great nation. And I am genuinely happy. I'm just thinking out loud here. And I'm wondering if I've got the right perspective on today. on my life.

Maybe this is my real life. What now?

12 comments:

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

it is your real life for right now, but not forever.

thank you for your family's sacrifice for our country.

blessings to your family, kathleen

Valorie said...

Gotta love the ups and downs that go with military life don't ya? It's rough, really rough!! Especially when we have a bunch of kids, we're crazy far away from our families and we have to handle it all on our own. I'm also bracing myself for future deployments. Some days it does feels like I am just waiting out one storm to brace myself for another one. Somehow most of us muddle our way through it with the support of our families back home and our new found families wherever we may live. A lot of my friends have decided that they needed to see a counselor to deal with all of the stress and anxiety that comes with these deployments. I think that has been a big help to them. Being a proud military family doesn't mean that we have to enjoy every second of every experience or that life stops when they leave. I doubt that most of us really knew what we were getting into when we started on this roller coaster. I surely didn't! I'm proud of my husband and the way he has choosen to support our country. I'm thankful that I can also support our country by supporting him. But for now, I'm tired and I just want him home with me! We must be having the same kind of day!

Mary said...

Wendy and Val, you guys are so strong! Nate and Joe are heroes, and so are you for staying sane and keeping your family functioning. I can't imagine that anyone gets used to deployments as being "the norm," even when their husbands go through multiple deployments in their married lives. It must be so hard. but I am excited for both of my brother-in-laws to get home this summer! Yay!

This post and Valorie's comment make me feel rather spoiled and whimpy - I cleaned (alone) all day to get ready for my in-laws to visit, and was feeling a bit put out to have to go grocery shopping after the kids went to bed - but I was able to do that alone and without any problems since Randy was here to take care of them. I need to count my blessings!

Tori :) said...

Life is always constantly changing. (Thank goodness...) I hope yours will change soon with your hubby home all the time. (((HUGS))

Deanne said...

Nothing is static, nothing. I must remind myself of that fact as well. I am thankful that the Lord gives me what I need for each season in life, and I pray the same for you.

nikko said...

(((Hugs)))

Thank you for all that you and your family do. I don't think I could do it. It must be so hard. I've been whining this week because my DH has been out of town for 8 whole days. And here you are facing multiple deployments. My hat is off to you.

Hang in there...

Ann M. said...

sometimes I wonder which is better--doing that loooong deployment and then having it be over, or the way he goes now: two months here, a month there, followed by random stays at home. As awful as the first option might be, at least at the end of it, you knew it was DONE. You could get on with life. The way things go now, it is a lot of constant adjusting. I don't blame you for not wanting to get used to it. I don't think any of us really do. All we can do is wait.

New Girl on Post said...

Oh and to answer your question, a Chi is a brand of hair straightner. It's supposed to be the cream of the crop and work really well. :)

marie said...

When Ben joined the Navy, his recruiter told us that he wouldn't deploy. His exact words were, " they would only deploy a CEC (civil engineer) if they needed a warm body." 4 deployments later, I would love to have a chat with that man. It is funny b/c I always think about ww2 wives too. They were so much braver than I will ever be. I think this is our real life. The cycle you mentioned..yeah real life.

Amanda said...

Oh Wendy, I wish I was there to give you a hug! You are so strong and I admire you so much for the sacrifices that you and your family make so that the rest of us can enjoy so much. You truly are amazing!!!

I feel rotten about complaining that my hubby is gone so much because of church duties. I need to be more grateful! But I have had the same thoughts, this is my life and it isn't going to change. I have to make the most of it, some days are easier than others.

Mary Peterson said...

Hi Wendy,
I can somewhat relate. James just got home from his fourth deployment in a period of five years. Frankly, I'm tired! I'm very proud of him and his service, but I don't see an end in the cycle either. Right now he is do to go out again next July. I do have to admit that I love reuniouns though. During these past deployments I have really learned to appreciate James and the small stuff doesn't bother me as much. It has been fun to see James's stuff all over our room.

I'm excited for you and your family to finally get Nathan back for awhile. Make the most of it! If you need to chat e-mail me or call anytime. mdurhampeterson@yahoo.com I'll send you my phone number through e-mail if you want.

wendy said...

You guys are so sweet. Thank you for the pick me up. I'm feeling better, and I signed myself up for a little class just for me. Sometimes in the hustle of mom'in it, I forget to take the time for moi!

And you are right, Mary, the reunion is so sweet. I'm even looking forward to the giant green bags taking up all the floor in our bedroom...