Thursday, July 26, 2007


I have not minded having a 7 month vacation from Visiting Teaching. Visiting Teaching is a way that the women in the Mormon church establish friendships, serve each other, and make sure that needs are being met.

It has been nice not to have that bit of guilt leading up to a last week of the month. But it has been fun to get going with it again, especially as I have a fun companion and all the ladies we visit seem genuinely happy to have us come (a big change from my last route where my companion, though fun, was working and going to school and hard to catch up with, and the ladies we visited didn't particularly like us)

So, we were visiting this one woman. And she said something that I am still pondering. Maybe you can help me with the translation...

I was telling a little story and I said something about how my husband is good at conversation, especially in getting to know people really quickly. I also mentioned that I am the opposite and tend to get stuck after "Hi." "How are you?" and "Where are you from?"

She responed with this: "Yeah, I KNOW, when I first met you and your husband I thought: What does he even see in her? He is such a great guy, and what could he possibly she in HER?"

meaning me.

She said it more than once to make her point.

She didn't seem to be joking, though we were all laughing at that humorous little joke.

But I was left wondering, Huh?

Is that the kind of thing you just say to someone?

I mean really, we have lived her for 7 months, and this is only the second or third time we have talked. I know who she is and all, but our paths don't often cross on Sunday, as I teach a children's class. Though for the short time that I attended Relief Society when we first moved here, she did not sit near me or attempt to get to know me. Waaa!

What does he see in her? Shesh, that's easy, he's got one smokin' hot babe as a wife. Not much of a conversationalist, apparently, but she's hott!

Am I right?


Anna said...

I would be offended at this too. I don't understand the comment, because how do you know anyone from those first introductory conversations. I rarely remember peoples names, and can't imagine thinking, "wow I have no idea who these people are, but what does he see in her?" I feel hurt for you. Maybe she was joking. But I know why Nathan stays with you. Now what you see in Nathan? I have no clue!!! Just kidding. Since the age of 9 I have always thought you two were a perfect match; even when Nate had a curly mullet

txmommy said...

people say the wierdest things. Maybe she meant well.

Anyway, I think you are the coolest wife ever! You scuba, sew and dress up for fancy dances...what more couldn't he want?

Tori :) said...

Whaaa??? That's just rude. You're nice to laugh. I would have sat there and said, "Gee. Thanks." and then opened a can.

Not trying to offend anyone, but was she polynesian? I just know being married into an Samoan family they tend to say things that the haole girl is offended by, but it doesn't seem to bother anyone else. So... I don't know.
And to cover my haole butt, obviously I like polynesians. I sleep with one every nite. :D

Jody said...

I can't believe she said that to you! Maybe next time you see her, you could ask her what she meant by it? Like, was she joking....or just being a "mean girl".

I love your new header, BTW.

wendy said...

Thanks for your kind words, girls.

Anna - you gotta admit the mullet was sweet in the 80's

Tori - She is not a local. She's just another military wife. I don't know her well, but she is a little more boisterous than me.

jodi - I'm thinking we won't have all that many close conversations in the future. I don't know.

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Where is this woman now, that I may kill her?

You do NOT say that to someone EVER but especially not someone you're going to church with on a weekly basis.

How do you befriend or trust someone who's basically told you that you don't deserve your husband?

Suzanne said...

How rude and inappropriate!!! I don't see how that could be spun into something positive! I'm sure Nathan sees in you what we all do and that you're a fantastic, fun and kind person. (Unlike her, Hmph!)

Terina said...

i've learned there are people that do not have a filter, that their thoughts just come out of their mouth like diarrhea. i have that problem, but i hope hope that i have never been that mean before. i mean, maybe i would think that, but i would also realize that i've never really talked to this person, and so maybe it was just a bad day. maybe she was having a bad day.

and you could say something. i'm a firm believer in standing up for yourself. i never seem to be able to think of something in the moment that is appropriate though. still working on that. maybe next time you go over, there might be a time when you could say something.
and why would she keep saying it?? once, jokingly, is one thing, but not several.
we need to forgive, but that doesn't mean we have to like the person.
and yes, you are hot. and the fact that you would cook rice for almost every meal at girls camp, and get up and do the hula puts you up there in my book. i had a hard enough time doing our ward song, let alone do a dance that requires moving my hips around.

Special K ~Toni said...

WTF??? She sounds like a piece of work!

That was completely RUDE and obnoxious of her!

Anne Bradshaw said...

Some people have the weirdest sense of humor. Just think of it as her problem, not yours. If you take offense, she's won her little battle. If you rise above it all and extend friendship, you are the winner--not only because you act instead of react, but also because your inner self will feel good instead of hurt and angry. It works. Promise.

JoyceMcB said...

I am amazed! What was she thinking?!!! Anyway, I like anne bradshaw's advice. You can ignore it and be the better person.

As your mom, I can say that you are right - you are hott. Nathan is lucky to have you! And I'm not one bit prejudiced either. Mom

Amanda said...

I'd love to see a picture of Nathan with a curly mullett! Hahahaha!

That is totally rude. I can't believe that she would say something like that. Nathan is lucky to have you! You are a totally awesome wife and mom! She obviously is suffering from some sort of mental disorder that affects the speaking politely and/or speaking with tact part of the brain.

Carrot Jello said...

Oh my gosh. I wouldn't have any idea how I'd recover from a comment like that. Even if it was a joke, it was terribly rude to say.

Steph said...

Seriously?!??! She is rude rude rude and I would not go out of my way to be her friend. Some people think being "blunt" is a good thing, I just think it is an excuse to be rude.

My mouth is on the floor.

If I saw her, I would kick her in the shin 7 times.

Terina said...

i wanted to add a little something to my previous comment. i, too, was like this woman who said inappropriate things. and i said them often. and they were hurtful like that comment. it took someone telling me that i needed to be nicer, and everytime i said something in the above category, she would mention it again. now i'm much more aware of what i say. so that is why i say that you should mention it to her. sometimes it takes someone pointing it out to you for you to realize what you're doing. i'm not talking about being confrontational, just say that what she said was really hurtful or that maybe she meant something else, but this is what it sounded like. my mom is the same way as this lady, and says hurtful things on a regular basis. or judges a situation that is totally out of her stewardship, and i call her on it. at the same time, we are allowing them to hurt our feelings too. but i'm now aware of what my mom does and so i am working on the not allowing it to hurt me. and maybe that is what you'll have to do with this woman. i don't know. anyway, hope this made some sense. or at least understand my above comment.

Donna Boucher said...

Dear Wendy,

What a jerk.
Avoid her like the plague.

She is mean and wrong.

You are adorable and sweet and smart and adventurous and a wonderful mom and sister and daughter...and you are a loyal and loving and hott wife!

Mean woman is a moron.

No Cool Story said...

I was thinking maybe it's a culture thin? Mexicans are very blunt and to Americans it comes out as rude.
But then again, there are people who are just plain idiots.

"He married me for my hot bod and money" would have worked as an answer.