At Risk?

I was reading an article in a magazine the other day and it's really starting to get on my nerves. I'm here to ask if you've experienced this or if I'm out of line.

I got this totally awesome package from my big sister, Laurie. I almost cried when I saw the big bag of peanut m&m's and the little gifts for each of my kids. And I really did cry when I read the article in the Brain, Child magazine she had marked for me (great article, must blog about that another time.)

Later that night, though, I was reading the magazine in my bed when I saw something that kinda irritated me:

Kids who live with their grandparents often have left homes plagued by drugs, violence, illness, or extended military deployment. (in the "News and Other Gleanings From the World at Large" section. Brain, Child winter 2008)

Okay, not "kinda". I'm totally irritated.

I know kids of deployed parents do live with their grandparents when both parents deploy at the same time. Writing this blog post reminded me of my friend Ursala, whose baby who went to live with grandma and grandpa for 3 months while Ursala and her husband's deployments overlapped. Also, our neighbors who are both Active-duty Army would prefer to both deploy at the same time while the kids stay with Nanai or else one of them will always be deployed and they will never see each other.

So, I know both parents do deploy, now more than ever before. And I know that in dual military families the parents have to have some kind of guardianship set up with grandparents or other guardians (I remember a story in the newspaper when we lived in Texas in 2003 of a single Airman taking on the care of 2 children while their parents both deployed, I wish I could find a link to that story, it was pretty cool and I think it had won some kind of Air Force news award. anywho...)

It makes me sad and a little angry to see children of deployed parents grouped in with violent druggies. Like kids of illegal drug users and Army Brats are the only ones who live with grandma. Not kids of single mothers, or kids of divorced parents, or kids of teen parents.

Which reminds me of a magnet I have stuck to my refrigerator, titled: 10 Ways To Tell Your Child I Love You. I received the magnet as part of a helpful pre-deployment packet. I finally got around to reading it one day and noticed some rather odd ways to tell your children that you love them, such as "Make sure your children eat healthy foods, exercise regularly and get enough sleep" and "Protect your children. Make their safety your top priority." Not bad or anything, just strange in a child-protective-services kind of way. Turns out it is printed by the Bureau For At-Risk Youth. Hmm.

I guess I just hadn't thought of my children as "At-Risk" in the same way as a foster kid rescued from a raging abusive druggie step dad. Programs for At-Risk kids are like Midnight Basketball leagues to keep kids off the streets. Or afterschool chess clubs for inner-city schools or something. Not MY kids...

Do you consider your child to be "At-Risk" when your husband is deployed?

I'm not saying we couldn't use some help. (some days more than others) I'm just not sure I can blame it all on deployment...

On the one hand I do want Mr. Secretary of Defense to realize the huge affect a deployment has on our children. On the other hand, I try to keep our home life as normal as possible. And I think we're doing great. I don't want my children given a stereotypical negative label that won't help my children, and won't bring their dad home any sooner.

I watch with (trepidation? worry? wonder? horror? interest? fascination?) awe at the way my children are adjusting and living and celebrating life while their dad is in Iraq. And I wonder how these deployments will affect them - next week, next month, and for the rest of their lives.

What do you think? Does this dude look At-Risk to you?

It's Aloha Friday

Your daughter needs a pa'u or hula skirt. This is very important. You can run downtown to the International Market Place and pick one up for $40. Or you can head over to the swap meet and grab one for $25. Or, for just $6 you can sew your own.

Go to Walmart and pick out two yards of your favorite Hawaiian print fabric. Just get the cheap $2.99/yard stuff. While you're there, you'll also need a pack of 3/8" elastic.


It's hard to choose my favorite pattern. I love all the bright colors and flowers.

There's no need to pre-wash, so get ready to sew!


Open out your fabric and fold it in half matching the cut ends. You are going to sew those edges together as the side seam of your skirt. Some fabrics have a definite top and bottom, others don't. That will determine how you cut it. Once you decide how long you want the skirt to be (it should hang down a couple inches past the knee) add on about 4 inches for the waistband and trim off the extra length. (I cut mine at about 32")



Sew your side seam right sides together, then finish the seam. A big zig-zag works, or you can use your serger. Now you have a large tube of fabric. After you iron that seam flat you'll want to zig-zag the top edge, too.


Iron about 4" down at the top edge.



This is what takes some time. You are making the casing for the elastic. Start by sewing a 3/4" seam at the top of the waist band. Go all the way around the 2 yards and finish by stitching over the beginning of your seam. Scoot your presser foot over 3/4" and go around again...



You are going to go around 4 times, each seam 3/4" away from the last seam. I used 3/4" scotch tape to mark the distance on my sewing machine, but if you are brave you can eyeball it.


When the waistband is finished you can live dangerously and finish the bottom edge of your skirt now with a little rolled hem. Or be safe and wait until your skirt is finished to let your little hula girl try it on before you hem it.


Look at those four sections at the top of the skirt. The first one will be a ruffle at the top. The next one will be elastic casing. The third one will be empty. And the fourth one will have elastic. Pick open the side seam of sections 2 and 4 to insert elastic. That is so confusing in writing...


A large safety pin attached to the end of the elastic makes inserting the elastic much easier. I didn't have any safety pins, but I found that large paperclips work, too. I think it's easier to insert both elastics at the same time. Have you done this before? Just squish and slide the elastic through the casing while the fabric gathers at the top.


Tie off your elastic when you get back to the opening. You can trim off some of your elastic, but it's okay to leave some extra to make your skirt adjustable.



Now you're ready to kaholo!

Homework Helpline

I know Sydney has a book report (complete with a model of the main character made from a soda bottle and a styrofoam ball) due next Tuesday. I haven't picked up the styrofoam yet...

I know she's working on a coloring book about Taro. And a research project about immigrants to Hawaii through the ages.

But I didn't know anything about the giant 10 page report (due tomorrow) on the Holocaust...

I found Sydney crying in front of the computer, paper and pencil in hand. She was looking for 10 facts about Israel (assignment item #1). Did you know that of 7 million people in Israel 5.7 are Jewish? or that Israel has the highest book printed/person rate in the world?

It took us 6 hours of hard work, more tears, and a little blister on her right hand middle finger to finish her report which includes a Venn diagram (item #9), a watercolor painting of a cellar (item #2), and an acrostic poem (item #3):

W ishing for
peace, happiness,
freedom, dad home.

A fraid of
bombs
guns

R emember
the Holocaust
Don't let it happen again

We, er, I mean, She better get an A. or an MP or ME or whatever that new-fangled grading system is...

For the record, it was a really interesting assignment with some great learning opportunities and no silly stuff like word searches or color by number. Sydney really knew her information and was full of details from the book and articles they had read in class. I just wish we had started the project a week ago...

I'm looking forward to reading a few of the Holocaust books that Sydney listed (item #5) in her report.

A Note from Nate

I wrote a note to Nathan yesterday to tell him about this and that - I filed our taxes, John wants a new boat, Emily is in the talent show, etc. I also mentioned that I made an extra big payment on our car, but for some reason it was taking a few days to go through. Nathan wrote back with a theatrical interpretation. I laughed and chortled and guffawed, and I thought you might enjoy it, too. I hope he doesn't mind if I post it here:

I wouldn't worry about the car loan principle delay, it always takes a few "business days" to "transfer", but it really adds up to more interest that they can charge the principle. I wonder how many hundreds of millions of dollars the loan industry makes on these "pennies from heaven" each year. Disgusting! I wrote a play about it (Prairie Dawn comes to mind -"Welcome to our play!").

A screenplay that I've been working on. Watch as our heroic protagonist, Wendy B. gets thrown under the proverbial bus of life in 2008's epic...

Loans and Lenders are Evil, Lazy and Corrupt et al.



Scene I.

Wendy: "Here's the money!"

Bank: "mmyea, we'll get to that payment in a few days" (Manager of evil, filthy-lucre conspiracy to him/herself: "Mmmwaaha ha ha! At this rate, my Christmas bonus will be bigger than last year! I can't believe she's trying to pay off her loan early and save money on MY hard earned INTEREST! THEEE NERVE!...)

(a few days later...)

Wendy: "Um, I posted a principle payment of $000 dollars a few days ago, and..."(sharply interrupted)

Bank: "Yes Mrs. B, we have your request, unfortunately due to our very busy schedule (manager is playing solitaire on computer while waiting to make a last minute e-bay bid) we require 5-7, (clearing throat) Hchmmmm, business days before you will see changes in your account."

(at lunch that very day)


Scene II.

Manager (to Employee): "How's your business going?"

Employee: "Oh, well enough, but people are paying off their loans early...I don't get it?"

Manager (putting arm around shoulder of employee): "We need to have a talk..."


THE END.

I particularly like the Prairie Dawn reference and the busy manager playing solitaire and watching his ebay auction. Silly!

I would just like to mention that things seem to have calmed down for him in the last week or two. For the first 6 weeks or so of the deployment, it was rare for us to recieve much in the way of phone calls or emails, but lately (we just past the 2 month mark) he's been able to call almost daily and (as seen above) his emails have moved beyond the 3 sentence response. Much better!

Off now to see if that transfer has gone through...

Isn't That Odd?

I saw the strangest thing this morning.

We were walking to school past the PT field behind our house, like we do every morning. Some guys (and girls) were still counting and doing pushups. Some of 'em were doing pullups at the pull up bar. Some were coming back from their run. And some guys were standing around all sweaty and grassy.

One guy was smoking.

He did not have a cigarette, but his head was totally smokin' hott. He was shaved completely bald and mist was rising from his head, swirling into the air. I'm not kidding. This really happened.


It looked like he was wearing a cloud-ish stocking cap, staring at his forehead and rising up from the back of his head. It was like the exact moment of evaporation when liquid water changes to gas, happening right on that dude's head.

I have never seen that before. I don't know if the light was just right, with the sun shining bright behind him. Or if it was because of the cool morning temperature (around 70 degrees). Or what. But it was pretty darn cool. I wish I had my camera...

If the kids hadn't seen it, too (and pointed and asked loud questions) I would wonder if I had actually seen it.

Most unusual.

****************

In other news, I went on my regular morning run, just before sunrise. As I was heading out of our neighborhood (in about the same place where we later saw the smoking man) I stepped on a rock, twisted my ankle and almost fell down. Oh the embarrassment. And ouch! My ankle is still a little sore. But I went with my dad's favorite advice of "keep walking on it" and made it through my 3 miles without any other trouble.

+++++++++++++++++

And - last item of business - I filed our taxes today. Woot Woot! I heart TurboTax!

Good Breath

John helped me blow up balloons for Sydney's big day (this is the last birthday post, I promise!) I didn't even realize he knew how, and when I asked him how come he was so good at blowing up balloons, he said:

"I just have good breath!"

I love that guy!

+++++++++++++++

It seems like it's either feast or famine around the Tiki Hut. Lately I've just had nothing worth writing about.... sorry!

This week my goal is to write something every day, even if it's just keeping track of my miles run. Go me!

Where in the World is Sydney

As part of Sydney's Birthday fun we went on a photo scavenger hunt around base. Hannah was our photographer for the event. We rode our bikes (I have a feeling we were a pretty terrific bike parade) to some interesting locations:

Here's Sydney and John at a castle.

Who is hiding behind that palm leaf?

There's Sydney and Emily with their bikes on the rolling hills. A fun place to ride!

Here is Sydney and a tank at the museum.

Stay 10 for a while, okay Syd? No need to speed up!

Double Digits

Happy Birthday Sydney!

Concert in the Park

emily - 2003

Last night we took a blanket and some sweatshirts and headed to the park to see Montgomery Gentry (country) and Bowling for Soup (alternative rock) perform live. For free!

All week we've noticed big things being set up at the field across from the commisary - trailers and speakers and a tower and lights and a big huge stage. It was kind of exciting.

han, syd, em, and baby john - 2003

It wasn't as crowded and crazy as I had imagined. We had room to spread out our stuff and room to dance. And we danced!

Lucky for me, before we moved to Hawaii we lived in Texas and South Dakota where country music is all over the radio, so I knew some of the songs. Did I mention that this was my first ever actual concert? (but not my last. next up Jack Johnson)

lil' cowpoke - 2003

I did not bring Nathan's big fancy camera, as I was worried that it would be too much for me to keep it safe and keep the kids safe at the same time. So no photos.

Sorry about that. But in honor of Mr. Montgomery and Mr. Gentry I found some cowgirl photos to entertain you with from our brief stint in Tejas! (Abilene, TX, 2003)

cowgirl sydney - 2003

Yeehaw!

Great Aloha Run

Sydney and I woke up at 4am this morning for the Great Aloha Run.

Here we are in Honolulu waiting for the sun to come up and the race to start!



The 8.15 mile run started at the Aloha Tower, wound under the Nimitz Highway, and over to the Aloha Stadium.


Here we are running under the Nimitz Highway, just after the first water station. I keepin' it real with this picture of me with water spilled on my boob. It is harder than it looks to run and drink at the same time...


Sydney is an excellent runner, but 8 miles is really far. I set my watch alarm to beep every 3 minutes. We ran 3 mintues, than walked 3 mintues. It took us 38 three minute cycles to finish the race. If you do a little math you can find that we finished the race in 114 minutes or 1 hour 54 minutes. About 14 minute miles.


Sydney is an excellent running buddy. She had a great attitude through the whole race!



I am a loser and totally forgot to take a picture of Sydney sprinting ahead of me into the stadium, or even one of her after we crossed the finish line. I'll blame it on heat exhaustion... I got my act together after I had some water and a banana. Good job Syd!


Here is Sydney with her buddy Olivia who ran the race, too!


And here we are, in the stadium parking lot. We finished!

Now I can cross Run the Aloha Run off my New Years Resolution list. That was the first real race I've been a part of and I can't wait for the next one... I would like to see how I do actually running!

I Heart Nate

Well if you feel like loving me
If you got the notion
I second that emotion

So if you feel like giving me
A lifetime of devotion
I second that emotion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~








No Kissing Please

A big scandal broke last week in Indonesia when a soldier departing from Ache publicly kissed his girlfriend goodbye. Public kissing: dangerous and illegal, so be careful! KHO News



Happy Valentine's Day!



Will you be mine?

(repost from Valentine's 2006 just because I love all the kissing pictures)

The Blog From the Black Lagoon

Our librarians go all out at book fair time. As part of the fun Mike Thayer, author of The Teacher from the Black Lagoon, came to our school on Monday!

Sydney and her friend Olivia, as members of the school "greeter's club", were invited to greet Mr. Thayer when he first arrived.

Sydney made a ribbon lei for him. She was a little nervous about giving him the lei (I'm NOT going to give him a kiss or anything, mom...a little cheek kiss is traditional with the giving of a lei, but that's okay, I don't think Mr Thayer was her type.)




He stayed all day at the school, reading to the children, telling knock-knock jokes and signing books. It was a real treat to meet him, and I know the kids enjoyed the fun day!



Just a little note to all you crazed children's book author fans: say you are really excited to meet the author, and say you bring a stack of pictures of yourself with the author, and say you also buy multiple copies of EACH of the authors books, it is only polite to let the children who have just finished a long day at school and may possibly really need to go potty and have just one cheap little paperback copy of the authors book, to go before you.

Holding up the line for over 15 minutes is a little much, k? If you're not sure if you're taking too much time just listen for the "how much longer is this going to take, mom?" and "are we ever going to go home, mom?" comments coming from the little people in line behind you.




Happy Reading!

Need a Little Cheering Up?

I'll admit it, I was having a no good, really bad day. Until I saw this picture:

Sydney - 4 years old

That made me smile.

Next, I ate some no bake cookies.

That made me feel a little better.

Then I got this fantastic award from Tori:



which totally made my day!

I'd like to give the You Make My Day Award to my friend Deanne at Fragile Flower. Yesterday we received a surprise package from Deanne. It was full of chocolate kisses and fun Valentine's socks for each of us! Emily was amazed that Deanne was able to guess each of our sock sizes correctly. We had an impromptu crazy-sock-day and we're planning to wear them again on Thursday. That really made my day! Thanks, Deanne!

Kung Hei Fat Choi

Happy New Year and Good Luck in the year of the Rat!

Charming, social, and quick witted, rats are happy and popular people. Rats are always on the go and find safety in numbers. Rats are detail oriented, hard working, and overambitious. They are able to accumulate wealth easily - and do not part with money as easily. You will make a good architect, salesperson, or campaign manager.

What is your Chinese Zodiak Animal?

I am a Dragon. The dragon is one of the most showy characters of the zodiac chart, you are imaginative, lucky, full of fun, and energetic. Dragons are the doers of the world. You don't sit around waiting for things to happen, you make things happen. You demand perfection from yourself and from others. You will make a good talk-show host, artist or diplomat.

(excellent!)

No Time to Blog -

There's too much to watch...





ps - What's your favorite show?

pps - And what are your family rules for TV viewing?

Emily's Tooth

This Tooth

I jiggled it

jaggled it

jerked it.

I pushed

and pulled

and poked it.

But --





As soon as I stopped,

and left it alone





this tooth came out

on its very own!

Emily has been waiting for-e-ver for her first loose tooth. It seemed like she was the last one in her class to lose a tooth, but it finally happened. Her tooth started to wiggle and shift around this weekend, and if Nathan had been here I'm sure he would have pulled it, but I don't like to see loose teeth let alone touch loose teeth, so I just took pictures (for Nathan and you!) and it fell out at school today!

How exciting!

I just hope our delinquent tooth fairy remembers to do her job tonight...

For Me?

Dear Wendy,
When going to the beach, please leave your tankini at home. Body surfing + two piece swimsuit = danger. Your wobbly belly is private and should stay that way.

Yours,
Blinded at the Beach

ps - I've heard tan fat is better than white. Just a thought!



Dear Blinded -
You should be happy I was wearing Board shorts.

Yours,
w



Dear Wendy,
My neighbor smokes out on their lanai. Their lanai is connect to my lanai. The smoke fills my house and burns my eyes. It makes my room smell like a cheap hotel. Is there anything I can do?

Signed,
2nd Hand Smoker


Dear 2nd Hand,
2nd Hand Smoke kills, don't ya know. Here are just a few ideas for dealing with your rude neighbor - cough really loudly out your window at the first wiff of smoke; start leaving smoking cessession pamplets on their windshield and door knob; buy 3 more window air conditioners and bolt your windows closed; or hope they move soon....

Your friend,
w

ps - please let me know if you find something that actually works. cough, cough!



Dear Wendy,
Just a little tip - do not sing along to your ipod when running. You look ridiculous, and you do NOT sound good!

Your Friend,
Simon



Dear Simon,

Is it too late to try out for American Idol?

True Love Always,
w



Dear Wendy,
You are 6 months over due for your annual girly exam. Please make an appointment at your earliest convenience. But don't call this week because there are no more appointments available. You might want to try calling next friday as the women's health clinic releases dates one Friday a month, but I can't tell you which friday, and if you do guess the right friday and call after 8am, chances are you still won't get an appointment. Good Luck!

See you soon!
Your PCM



Dear PCM,

Ha!

Love,
w



Dear Wendy,
Do you really think 3 chocolate chip cookies hot from the oven is a wise snack at 11:30pm?

Your,
hips



Dear Hips,
Yes!

BFF,
w